Ya’ll, sometimes I just want to run away. Yes, I said it. I want to RUN AWAY. And by run away, I mean far, far away to a beach where I can just sit and read a book and not think about anything else.
Being a special needs mom is hard.
It’s a daily grind of who is taking him to this therapy, who is taking him here, when does he need to eat, what do we need to do today and so on and so on. It’s a never ending string of paperwork and meetings with people who do not truly understand special needs life but are trying to help. There are days that I don’t get a shower. There are days that I don’t leave the house. Special needs parenting is not for the weak.
Sometimes, I feel like I’ve lost myself in this journey. Everything from day one has been about what is best for Colton. Not that I would have it any other way. He is my life and I wouldn’t change that. He is the best thing that has ever happened to me. Do I wish he would’ve been born healthy? Yes. Every single day. Do I wish he didn’t have to struggle with normal tasks? Yes. Every single day. These wishes won’t go away. So I need to learn to focus on myself too. And so do you!
But, it’s really hard.
How do you make being a special needs mom not so hard? That is hard. I’m starting with changing myself. And I am are working on it. I am working to find myself again. I am asking for help. Asking for help is extremely hard since I am a pretty independent person and like things to be done my way. I have discovered that there are so many different ways to accomplish the same thing. Oh, and it’s ok if something doesn’t get done. It’s ok if the vacuuming isn’t done. It’s ok if there are dishes that need to be put in the dishwasher. It drives me nuts, but it’s ok! I am finding who I am. This is going to be a long process, but it’s totally worth it. One of my favorite authors, Rachel Hollis, put it this way, “You cannot take care of others well it you’re not first taking care of yourself.” This is especially true for special needs moms. But, you have to or you aren’t any good for anyone else, including your special needs child. Hugs momma… I’m right there with you!
For ideas on how to take care of yourself, check out this blog post!